Don’t you get seriously fed-up of those smarmy, sugary ‘Priceless’ ads? I mean those ‘for –everything-else-there’s-Mastercrud’ thingies. Why, oh, why do those guys insist on inflicting them on a cringing populace? The last time I saw one, I had to pass-up on the dessert.
Anyway, here is my little revenge on those smooth-faced, hair-gelled martini imbibers…my own version of the Mastercarp ads:
Root Canal: Rs. 4000
Scaling: Rs. 2000
Dental Filling: Rs. 2000
Tooth Extraction: Rs. 5000
Gum-message: Rs 500
Biting the ear off that darn dentist when you get the bill: Priceless
There are some things Dinars can’t buy. For everything else there’s Mastercrude.
High-End CD Player: Rs 65,000
3000 Watts Amps: Rs 60,000
Equalizers: Rs 40,000
Room sized cabinet speakers: Rs 120,000
Slayer Music CD: Rs 500
Making your neighbor jump out of bed at 3AM, screaming: Priceless
There are some things the holy shekels can’t buy. For everything else there’s Masterchord.
Champagne: Rs. 10000
Soup du Jour: Rs 1000
Filet Mignon: Rs 3000
Blancmange: Rs 2000
Cognac and Café au lait: Rs 2500
Filing an Expense Report and sloshing the ol’ company for the whole caboodle: Priceless
There are some things the brass doubloons can’t buy. For everything else there’s Mastercurd.
Laxative tabs: Rs. 100
Antacid: Rs. 115
Colon Wash: Rs. 2000
Rectal probe: Rs. 3000
Antidepressants for spouse and kids: Rs. 300
Going to the toilet again after 3 weeks: Priceless
There are some things the leafy lettuce can’t buy. For everything else there’s Mr. Crud.
Boarding school Fees: King’s Ransom
Text Books: Queen’s Ransom
School Kit: Knave’s Ransom
Five sets of uniform: Rs 10,000
One-way train ticket (second class): Rs 500
Finally getting that hyperactive, misanthropic, hormone-fuelled brat out of your hair: Priceless
There are some things copper Ringgits can’t buy. For everything else there’s Monstercured.
Flowers: Rs. 1000
Box of Chocolates: Rs. 2500
Chauffeured Limo: Rs. 5000
Champagne Dinner: Rs. 30,000
Taking her sister out on a date after getting dumped: Priceless
There are some things cowry shells can’t buy. For everything else there’s Mysterycute.
Five dum-dum bullets: $10
9MM Smith & Wesson’s Automatic: $656
Tan-Leather Thumb-break holster: $49.95
Gun License: Rs. 10,000
Bribe for police-officer to get gun license: Rs. 50,000
Blowing a neat hole in that smart-alecks ad-man’s hair-gelled head who thought up those darn Mastercrud ads: Priceless.
There are some things the crisp wampum can’t buy. For everything else there’s Mastercrodd.
PS: In case you are wondering how I managed all the bad puns and weird words in French: I didn’t. The French version is pretty straightforward…. Gimme a break…I’m still in 3A… they don’t teach bad puns until C1.
