Greaseballs and hard rock

“Rock in the Jungle” they labeled it. The annual day of the Hotel Management dept at the Administrative Management College. Food Fest + four of the hottest rock acts around, all for a measly 30 bucks. It seemed foolish not to go, so I went.

After an interminable drive down the choking, ugly Banerghatta road, there was a little clearing with some trees….the forest. Then the hallowed portals of AMC. Braving a long line of belligerent looking management students all wanting to see my ticket, finally made it inside to the rather grand AMC building which looks a bit like St. Peters cathedral. Huge circular ground in front, with a small stage and miniscule speakers. Doesn’t look adequate for such a huge ground. Sinking feeling.

The show was to start at 4. Finally started at 6. Interminable, boring speeches by the VC, reactor, Head of Dept…about topics of little or no interest to outsiders…went on and on…Chairs set a kilometer away from the stage. The entire view blocked by the sound crew in between. Sound is pathetic. Fairly awful comparing. Typical tacky, ham-handed and slightly self-conscious management of student-organized fests. The whole thing is starting to look like a frost. It had sounded an unbelievable bargain at 30 bucks. It is getting more unbelievable by the second.

I was trying to get a sweet dreamgirl I’m getting terribly fond of to come with me. She didn’t. Drove all the way feeling depressed about it. Feeling relieved about it now. Dreamgirls can be scathing, when frosted.

Finally, at 7, the bands start tuning up. The sound crew from Unwind Centre (where I go for guitar lessons) does some magic. Suddenly the puny system starts delivering a very respectable sound.

The first band fires. Haven, the national runners up for this years Campus Rock Idols, and the south zone winners. Features Hemant on lead, who is also my guitar instructor at Unwind Center. Enthusiastic clapping from me. They play grunge covers – Perl Jam, Creed and the like. Suddenly, the place comes alive. Everyone deserts the chairs and surges towards the stage. Sound system rocks. So does the band. The evening doesn’t look like a washout anymore.

Haven does a very competent job. I can believe that they won Campus Rock Idol. They are the college band of St Josephs of Bangalore. Hemant is quiet and self-effacing on stage, and lets his guitar speak for itself. But their singer and bassist make up for it with a lot of showmanship. Cute, rocking babe on their keyboard. Can hardly hear her, above the loud, fuzzy bass and drums, but she looks cute and lively, and makes up in visual impact.

Try the food counter…coming-out party for the final year hotel management students. The Biryani is greasy and awful. If these chaps are training to be cooks in 5 star hotels, my only guess is they plan on receiving lots of on-the-job training. There is even a dinky little French restaurant with five tables, smartly dressed waitresses, and a preset 11-course menu with stuff like coq-au-vin. Sounds like a bargain at 100 bucks. Looking at their level of culinary expertise, decide to give it a miss.

Next band up…Blood Covenant from Chennai. Hard, uncompromising death metal. Being a regular sufferer of half-baked death metal groups at our very own Sunday Jam, I feel a nameless dread. But theses chaps are really good. The drums in particular sound like an artillery battery having fun after getting drunk on regiment day. After two songs, I revise my opinion. It sounds like three drunken artillery batteries having fun in unison. Fat fellow with a sense of humor is having a blast growling incomprehensible vocals. Hate the genre, but must admit- this time it is fun.

Try the black forest pastry and caramel custard. Not bad. Revise my opinion of the students’ culinary skills. The pastry in particular is better than anything I’ve tasted outside of a 5-star joint. Covered in oodles of real chocolate shavings without being stingy, and lots of fresh cream.

Some kind of strange fashion show on stage. Some very sexy young female students and some very self conscious male students strutting their stuff. Never understood the concept of fashion shows at college do’s. I mean – the point of fashion shows is for professional fashion designers to showcase their awful designs. These kids just dig out their best clothes, and strut about on stage. Anyway, cute babes. No harm in getting some eye candy. A lot of very lecherous greaseballs seem to think so too. Lewd comments and leering all around. Suddenly realize the place has a fair sprinkling of what we used to call ‘Cheappads’ back in my hometown in Rajasthan. Greaseball is the nearest English equivalent. Basically – slightly callow, unpolished rural types who hang around in groups leering at girls and passing cheap comment in Hindi, but would probably faint if one of them came and talked to them. Cheappads at a rock concert. Ugh. I thought I had left that breed behind, when I moved to Bangalore. These must be the northies who flock to Bangalore colleges every year. Those girls must have nerves of steel to strut around in sexy clothes in front of a crowd of cheappads. Thankfully, the Cheappads seem to be in a minority. Most of the guys seem to be hard-core rockers.

Next up…my favorite Bangalore act – Ministry of Blues. Philip Hayden tries cracking some jokes in fairly pathetic Hindi. Fall flat. Launch into Voodoo Chile. Philip as usual does an amazing replica of Hendrix riffs. But sound is still set for death metal – you can only hear the bass and drums, the lead is lost. Try to get Ram in the sound crew to adjust the sound setting. He fiddles around a bit. Only a slight improvement. MOB plays Hendrix, Deep Purple, Doors…all lost due to the improper sound balance.

Next up is a fusion band that sings in Hindi. – Swarathma. Me, I avoid all such bands. Go home, feeling depressed at the MOB fiasco.

More bad news at the parking lot. Somebody has vandalized by beautiful T-bird. Bent the speed indicator and cut its cable. One of the Cheappads, I suppose. Why would anyone want to do that? What do they get from it? Cheappad mentality defies logic.