Office Romance at XYZ-Cheeposoft -1

Eric - King amongst Coders (self appointed)
Gwendolyn - C++ Queen (also self appointed)
Pustule - Malapert Knave (junior programmer)

Gwen is Eric’s Consort-Designate. In his fervid imagination. Gwen has other ideas.
Scene 1: Shared 4-seater cubicle. Gwen is busy at her console. Eric is acting busy at his, sweating, fingering his collar. Pustule is playing video games at his. The test web server is empty-cycling lazily in its corner.

Eric: Say Gwen, about that Deep Purple rock concert on Sunday…

Gwen: What about it?

Eric: I mean, how about it?

Gwen: What, if anything, do you mean?

Eric: I mean …you know…

Gwen: No I don’t. Your sentence had an object, but it lacked an action verb and a definable subject. You really need to take that communication training module

Pustule: I took it last month. It’s really good

Eric: Shut up Pustule! I mean, would you like to go to the concert?

Gwen: Are you asking me out on a date?

Eric: I mean…sort of

Gwen: I don’t date JScript hacks

Pustule: Tee-hee-hee

Eric: Stuff it, Pustule. Hey! You can’t label me a script jockey just because my current project is a web app. My last project was C++.

Gwen: I’ve seen your C++ code. It looks like pages of JScript rammed into a class.

Eric: Hey, that’s not fair! That was a Bluetooth driver for a 16 bit embedded controller. I just had 256K RAM!

Gwen: That’s no excuse.

Eric: OK…why don’t you teach me embedded OOAD? You can do it at the concert. I’ll carry along my copy of GOF.

Gwen: What! You expect me to read out GOF to the tune of ‘Smoke on the water’?

Eric: It could make it less boring…

Gwen: Look, I’ll come with you to the Deep Purple concert on two conditions….

Eric: OK…

Gwen: First…leave your GOF at home

Eric: OK!

Gwen: And second…..

Gwen directs a passionate look at Eric. Eric’s heart skips a beat.

Eric: Yes…?

Gwen: Tell me….where do you get those funky Geek-Speak T-shirts?

Eric: I’ll do even better… I’ll get you one!

Gwen: One that’s washed?

Pustule: Those things don’t need a wash. They have to be boiled in baking soda.

Eric: Shut up, Pustule! I’ll get you a brand new one.

Pustule: Hey! Can I come along too?
© Poltu