Monday, May 28, 2007

A little public service for Blood Covenant

Hurricane of Blood Covenant called me the other day. Said he loved my coverage of their concert at Unwind Centre. He asked me to rewrite the text in their web page in my "patented" style. See below what I came up with. I'm not sure they are going to like it. If they do use it, you'll see this text on this website in a few days:-

I know it's a bit 'over the top'. But what the hell, it's a death metal band ;)

Blood Covenant


(Left to right: Hurricane, Wolf, Ed Bull, Thorn)


Who, or what, is the Blood Covenant? Simply the biggest, baddest, ugliest rock act in this holy land of Bharat Ma aka. India. They play metal, pure and simple. If you are academically inclined and insist on putting them into a neat slot, they play technical death metal with touches of metalcore and grindcore. But their lyrics speak of love and universal brotherhood, not death and mayhem: they like to call their brand of music 'Intense Metal'. Of course, you have to listen very hard to detect all that love and universal brotherhood.

Inspired by other Christian heavy metal group like Extol, Mortification, Living Sacrifice, Blood Covenant have made a Covenant in Blood to restore you wretches to the Glory of God. Not a Christian? Not a problem. Amongst all that horrible growling and crashing power chords, you will never know if God is being invoked or the Satan. In any case, the mind numbing decibels will pulverize your pathetic brain and drag you kicking and screaming to whatever god you choose to believe in. Or the devil, if you don't.

The Blood Covenant operate at 200 bmp and higher. That is beats-per-minutes for you morons. That makes them one of the fastest metal acts in India . And they are violent and noisy and blood-curdling.

But above all, the Blood Covenant are BAD. And Ugly. Oh-me-God, are they UGLY! Not a single Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt in that bunch. You go to their concerts to have your eardrums shredded, not to swoon over their good looks.

This repulsive crew consists of the following weirdoes:

Ed Bull: The singer. If you call that singing. He sounds like raging alpha tauro in a Andalusian bullfight. Shortly before the matador is gored to death. Hence the name. Ed Bull started in '91 with Bonesaw, the death metal pioneers in India. One of the first death metal singers in the country.

Wolf: The guitarist. You do not see him on stage, only his blazing right hand, and the axe. The rest is a blur. Wolf has been know, on occasion, to play Jazz, Blues, and even (god forbid) Country. He is seeing a psychiatrist to have this rectified.

Thorn: The sane man in the crowd. He has to be. His steady bass keeps the others from flying into orbit. Levitating rock musicians are not known to be very successful.

Hurricane: the man with the sticks. Frenzied dervish of flying hair. Murderous attacker of the drum-kit. Raving maniac. Terrified drum-kits gather up their bass-pedals and high-hats and try to sneak off the stage when he stalks on to it. He is one of rare drummers who can create the Chinese Butterfly Illusion: When he starts, two shimmering butterfly wings of flying drumsticks sprout around his shoulders. And his feet on the bass-pedals create the 'Cossack artillery regiment practicing after getting drunk on Vodka' illusion. And the crowd keeps bleating pathetically for more.

Warning: The delicately nurtured have been known to experience the loose bladder syndrome when Ed Bull emits his first kidney eviscerating growl. Don't trust yourself? Wear diapers to their concert. Or ensure you are holding a glass of Coke. You can claim you spilled it.

Blood Covenant is washing over these fair shores like a gathering tsunami. Wait. And Watch. It grows bigger by the day. One day, it will inundate this land, and you will be a part of the human wreckage left in its wake. Unless you choose to be a part of it.