Saturday, January 27, 2007

Code Walkthrough at XYZ-Cheeposoft -1

Eric - King amongst Coders (self appointed)
Bartolemy - Grand Dictator of Programming (officially appointed)
Pustule - Malapert Knave (junior programmer)

Bartolemy : This just won’t do. This code is awful.

Eric : Awful?? It’s been running without issues for the last 327.5 hours on our web server. And it’s handling 10 thousand hits a day.

Bartolemy : Yes, but….tell me, have you heard of our Coding Guidelines?

Eric : What’s that?

Bartolemy : That’s what I thought!

Pustule : It’s on the quality web page, Eric. Under process XIVI para 12 subsection 15.1

Eric : Gaah! You don’t have to tell me that. I was just kidding.

Bartolemy : Kidding is not permitted in code review meetings as per Quality Rule 17.8.9.1

Eric : Look, I’ve followed that blessed document as far as I could make sense of it. What seems to be the problem?

Bartolemy : Look at your indentation, my dear friend. It’s all wrong!

Eric : It looks OK to me….

Bartolemy : You have used five spaces! Five!! The coding guideline clearly says: indentation with 4 spaces.

Eric : I see. And if I change the indentation to 4, my code will run faster?

Bartolemy : Not exactly….

Eric : Maybe it will get less customer complaints? Less bug reports?

Bartolemy : Hmm…I can’t say that…

Eric : Maybe it will be smaller in size?

Bartolemy : Of course! I mean…one whole character less times 1 million lines of code….just calculate.

Pustule : (whispering, nudging Bartolemy) The indention is ignored by the compiler.

Bartolemy : Ha-Ha! Just kidding. Of course it won’t.

Eric : I thought kidding wasn’t permitted?

Bartolemy : The code review chairman is allowed one small kid as per sub-clause 12d.

Eric : Anyway. Let me summarize: It won’t make the code smaller, faster or more bug free. Is that correct?

Bartolemy : Absolutely!

Pustule : Indubitably!

Eric : So how exactly is it going to improve my code?

Bartolemy : (sonorously) Your code will be complaint to our coding guidelines.

Eric pulls up his Speak-With-Geek T-shirt, and buries his face in it.

Eric : (sobbing) Mommy!!

Pustule : Hey! Watch it!! You haven’t washed that in months! You’ll asphyxiate!

© Poltu

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