The Cheeposoft Values - 1

Aardvark – VP, Software development
Brain Storming session at XYZ –Cheeposoft

Aardvark: Friends, Cheepos, Human resources, we are all here today to address a grave issue….
Eric: You mean our lousy pay?

Pustule: The rat droppings in the canteen food?

Gwen: The fact that we have to attend inane, pointless meetings throughout the day?

Aardvark: No, something much more serious… our attrition rate. We have 10 people leaving a month…very soon we will none left – just the CEO and the VP’s. I have called this brain storming session to get sensible and practical suggestions for reducing attrition.

Eric: Maybe you could improve working conditions?

Aardvark: Sensible suggestions, Eric

Pustule: How about some decent food in the canteen, for a change?

Aardvark: If you don’t like the canteen food, get it from home.

Pustule: But…I’m here 23 hours a day….

Aardvark: Try dieting. Dieting is good for you.

Gwen: How about doing something about the back to back meetings? I am at the point where the only time I get for coding is while walking between meeting rooms.

Aardvark: Walk slower.

Gwen: I have tried that. It doesn’t help. I believe we are at the meeting inflection point. We are at a point where cumulative meeting times are about to exceed the number of hours in the day. Either we have to cut down meetings, or slow down the rotation of the earth to have 25 hour days.

Aardvark: I like the second suggestion. Maybe the melting of the polar ice caps will achieve that automatically?

Eric: Our salaries are 50% behind other companies. Most of my friends get two or three times my salary. Maybe you could cut the ridiculous pay that the VP’s and CEO get, and increase ours a bit?

Aardvark: Maybe we need a little talk about your performance appraisal?

Eric: Frankly, I am still here out of sheer inertia. I really don’t see why I should stay here for a lousy pay and put up with an insensitive management.

Aardvark: Well, if you don’t like it here, you know what you can do, don’t you?

Eric: Leave?

Aardvark: Precisely!

Eric: Like those other 10 persons a month?

To be continued ….Aardvark presents 'The Cheeposoft Values'
© Poltu