Aardvark – VP, Software development
Brain Storming session at XYZ –Cheeposoft
Continued from last time…
Eric: I am getting a little confused about these corporate values… they don’t sound like anything I’ve read before.
Aardvark: It is all very simple. All of you guys are plain lazy. You don’t read the fine print.
Gwen: You mean there is a fine print?
Aardvark: Of course! There is always a fine print. For everything. You’ll never become a successful manager until you learn to read the fine print.
Flashes on a powerpoint slide.
Aardvark: Here! I’ll show you the Cheeposoft Corporate Values, as you have never seen them before. Everything in uniform font size. Only VP’s and board members get to see this slide.
- The customer is king…until the contract is signed
- The customer is always right. But he never reads the manual.
- We encourage open feedback. As long as it is positive.
- All employees are equal, but managers are more equal than others
- We reward exceptional performance. With salary.
- We encourage diversity in the workplace. As long as everybody looks the same.
- We create an exciting, challenging work environment. You are challenged to work harder or your boss will get very excited.
- We believe that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. That is why we give bananas.
